


But We all Have Problems

by Mickey14



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Meetings, First Time, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 02:37:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8039155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mickey14/pseuds/Mickey14
Summary: When Oikawa decides to go to Shiratorizama, he begins to push himself to being the best setter in the country. He's always training and always looking to get better. Sure, he might be a little intense, but National team recruiters even came to scout him the other week. He has to get better. Nothing else matters. Not school. Not his friends. Not his girlfriend. Not his family. Nothing can compete with volleyball.





	1. Volleyball is Most Important

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Oikawa's AU in which he goes to Shiratorizawa and he did not have Iwaizumi to hold him back from himself.
> 
> Leave comments and suggestions. Let me know if you like this story!

Oikawa banged the ball against the ground several times before he held it up, prepared to serve. Right at the water bottle. There is no time for mistakes. There's only 63 more days until Nationals and Oikawa is nowhere near prepared. He'll need several hours a day to train to actually get anywhere. It doesn't matter that everyone tells him that he's amazing. He knows they're lying. It doesn't matter because the recruiter for the national team came and he played the worst game of his life. It was over a week ago. There was no call or email or anything. The recruiter wasn't impressed enough to contact him. Oikawa had seen the recruiter talking to Ushijima. Oikawa just wasn't good enough.

Oikawa threw the ball up into the air and took a few steps before powerfully slamming the ball. It sailed over the net at a terrifying pace and directly toward the water bottle. Oikawa waited for the familiar noise of the water bottle being hit, but it never came. Because the ball hit mere inches away from it.

Oikawa felt his heart beat quickly and his head began to hurt right behind his forehead. He turned and slammed his head against the wall. He felt the same pain and slammed it a second time. The pressure in his head alleviated, but just for good measure, he was about to slam it again when he heard a voice call his name.

"Oikawa," Ushijima called across the gym. "What are you doing here?"

The tall and intimidating man stared intently at Oikawa and Oikawa was unable to return his look. Oikawa's hairs on his neck pricked up at Ushijima's presence, but Oikawa ignored it.

"How long have you been here?" Oikawa questioned. "I could really use you to practice my tosses. It'd be really nice if you could help-"

"I've been here for half an hour and you didn't even notice," Ushijima showed no concern, but it was as if he was just talking about the weather.

"Sorry, I was just focused," Oikawa picked up a ball from the basket and began to twirl it in his hands, already turning his attention away from Ushijima who didn't seem to actually want to practice with him.

"Focused enough that you forgot about our date?" Akita demanded.

Akita and Oikawa had been dating for the past six months, maybe. Oikawa didn't really remember. She was a petite thing who always had an attitude to Oikawa, but everyone loved her, especially his family. His parents sometimes have her over for dinner when Oikawa isn't even over. It's annoying sometimes after coming home from volleyball and having to spend time with her when Oikawa could be doing something productive like watching tapes of other teams. Now that Oikawa was thinking about it, why was he dating Akita? She was just a distraction to what really mattered: volleyball.

"Yeah, seems that way," Oikawa muttered as he served the ball and hit the water bottle straight on.

Oikawa picked up another ball and got ready for another serve, but right as he was about to throw it up in the air, the ball was stolen from him.

Akita held the ball away from him and yelled, "What's wrong with you? Don't you even care? We've been dating for 9 months and you just keep pulling away from me over and over again."

Oikawa walked away from her and to the other side of the gym to set up the fifteen water bottles that he had knocked over with sixteen balls. It was almost perfect. Almost.

Akita followed him across the court and continuously yelled at him, but Oikawa never really heard her. He returned to his place where he was serving and took another ball from the cart filled with them. He took his position and threw the ball into the air and jump-served. He aimed for the one in the deepest part of the court and it sailed on target until, again, Oikawa missed.

The pressure built in his head and he did what was necessary to relieve it. He walked up to the wall and slammed his head against the wall. Oikawa thought he heard Akita finally stop talking.

He turned around to face her and offer her a snarky comment, but her utter horror stopped him. Oikawa reluctantly didn't comment and picked up another ball. He threw it into the air, but he felt an arm pull him back as he was about to step forward. Oikawa whipped around to look Akita in the eyes and tell her off and to leave her alone. She didn't let him.

Oikawa heard the ball that he was going to serve hit the ground as Akita moved her hand to his head. She drew it back and examined the glistening red liquid in her hand. She looked back at him in utter awe.

"You're bleeding," Akita said as if she didn't believe it.

Oikawa was unphased. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last. He just needed to practice right now. He'd clean the blood up later.

Oikawa tried to pull away, but Akita held her grip. Ushijima who Oikawa had completely forgotten about spoke up at that point.

"I think it's time you headed home, Oikawa."

"I didn't finish practicing," Oikawa retorted as he took a step away from Akita. "Just give me another half an hour."

"No, get out," Ushijima ordered. "I'm locking up for the night."

Oikawa opened his mouth to argue, but he knew that it would mean nothing, so he stomped over to his bag rather childishly and slammed the door on his way out.

Oikawa started on his way home when he heard the crunch of gravel on the ground. He stopped just a moment, hoping that it just might Ushijima coming back to say he was joking and that Oikawa could continue practicing, but Oikawa knew that would never happen. It was Ushijima, afterall.

"Oikawa," her tiny and annoying voice screeched and she took a deep breath before continuing. "Oikawa, I need to talk to you. I don't think we can do this. You're just so obsessed with volleyball and you don't even care. I just-. No, that's only part of it. Oikawa, I'm scared of you. After seeing whatever happened back there, I think you need to see someone. Just for a little while until you get better. You're just so obsessed with something that won't matter a year from now. I just don't understand-"

"You wouldn't understand," Oikawa shot. "You'll never understand what it's like to always struggle to keep up. I don't have the talent to keep up with other people, so I have to train myself to be better than them. And I won't stop training until I am better. And right now, I am nowhere close to their level-"

"You're amazing, Oikawa!" Akita said, taking his hands and trying to convince him. "You always have been. A national recruiter talked to Ushijima about how they would really want you to come to a training camp with their current team! How is there any better than that?"

Oikawa had not known that fact. Ushijima had kept it from him, obviously. Ushijima was probably afraid Oikawa wouldn't be able to keep up with the national players and that Oikawa would make a fool of himself, but Oikawa wouldn't. He just had to keep training. He had to get better if he wanted to compete with them. To play with national players. An opportunity of a lifetime. But Oikawa wasn't ready. He needed to train to be better. He was still not good enough for that level.

"Oikawa, focus on me," Akita said, softly. "I'm going to come over tomorrow morning to talk to your parents about what I just saw-"

"You're not my mother, Akita," Oikawa snapped. "I don't need you."

Oikawa ripped his hands from hers and stalked off into the night.


	2. Oikawa's Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa talks to his sister and insists he leaves for volleyball.

Oikawa got home around 9:15 that night. His sister, Mei, was home from college for a few days, but she would be leaving soon. Oikawa realized he hadn't really talked, but he really wasn't in the mood. Maybe, he'd skip school and play volleyball with her tomorrow. Mei was always really helpful when Oikawa practiced with her. Maybe, he'd ask her tomorrow if he felt like it.

Oikawa tiptoed past her chair where she sat watching an old movie from the 80's. Hoping she wouldn't notice him, Oikawa made it to the stairs before Mei noticed him.

"Hey," Mei called. "Get back here. I want to talk to you."

Reluctantly, Oikawa obliged and stood in the doorway to the living room. The room was dark and the light from the television barely illuminated Mei's face, but from Oikawa's distance, his blood-stained face was still hidden.

"Akita called," Mei prompted, but when Oikawa did not reply, she continued. "She said she wanted to make sure you got home okay. She said you two broke up, Tooru. A few months ago, you were telling me that you were in love with her and you even might've wanted to marry her. I just don't understand."

"No one seems to understand," Oikawa yelled, causing Mei to straighten up. "I'm 18 years old. What would I know about love? Besides, she's a bitch, anyways."

"Tooru! You don't call a girl that! What's wrong with you? If a girl breaks up with you, you don't get to-" Mei reached for the table-side lamp to be able to look Oikawa in the eyes, but her words fell short when she caught sight of Oikawa. "Fucking hell."

Mei was out of her seat in moments. The blood had dried across his face and streaks of blood appeared from underneath his hair. His hair was matted to his head and cakes of blood seemed to give him an unnerving new hairstyle. Even his hands had bits of blood on them from rubbing at his wound. Her hands went to touch his face, but he intercepted them.

"Don't," Oikawa said, voice dangerously low.

"Tooru, this isn't ok," Mei said, worriedly. "Whoever did this to you-"

"No one did anything to me," Oikawa barked. "I hit my head."

"You expect me to believe that you hit your own head and caused this much blood? You must think I'm an idiot."

"I'm not lying."

"When Mom and Dad get back tomorrow-"

"Where did they go?" Oikawa interrupted. He never remembered them saying they would be gone tonight.

"To Aunt Hisoka's?" Mei was even more worried. "Do you think you could have a concussion? We should go to the hospital and get-"

"No," Oikawa said firmly. "I just want to go to bed."

Something must have been in the tone of his voice because Mei nodded at him, but her face still had concerned. She watched him turn and take the steps two at a time. When he was out of sight, Mei, feeling completely and absolutely helpless, returned to her chair and stared at the pictures on the television, unable to comprehend what she saw before her after seeing what someone did to her baby brother.

___________

 

Oikawa took a shower and scrubbed all the blood from his body. Oikawa hadn't noticed before, but a bunch had fallen onto his shirt and he tried to rinse it out. He'd just have to hope it would come out in the wash.

Oikawa got into bed and placed in the tape of their game against Dateko and he began to pick himself apart. At one point in the film, Oikawa had tossed the ball to Satori when Ushijima was wide open on the other side. They had still won the point, but it was such a stupid mistake. Oikawa was supposed to have complete awareness of the game, but he couldn't even see that his ace was wide open. Useless.

Later in the game, Oikawa had missed a receive for his team. It had been a simple receive, but Oikawa had mistimed it that he made it look incredibly awful. Everyone, at the time, had told him it was fine, but now, Oikawa could see the look of disappointment on Ushijima's face. Incapable.

A few minutes passed. Oikawa tried to do a dump, but the Iron Wall of Dateko easily destroyed his efforts. Oikawa had worked for weeks to improve his dump shot, yet there he was failing at what he'd practiced on. Hopeless.

After all his hard work, it came down to nothing. Oikawa would always be one step behind. He did everything. Everything. To improve and he didn't. He was still a lousy setter who would screw up at nationals. But maybe, practicing would help him. It had to. Ushijima always seemed to be improving until he was third in the nation. That's absolutely incredible. Oikawa could easily do the same if he put in twice as many hours. Maybe, Ushijima had forgot to the lock the gym. Oikawa could get a few more reps in before he went to bed.

Before he knew it, Oikawa was out of bed and getting dressed. He slipped on his shoes and grabbed his volleyball sneakers. He was so ecstatic that he nearly fell down the stairs and he nearly sprinted out the door. Oikawa was going to be the best setter and-.

"Tooru?" Mei said sleepily from her chair. The television continued to play as she continued. "Where are you going? It's 11:00 at night."

11:00? Oikawa didn't remember it getting so late. He was just getting into bed a minute ago. Weird. But, it didn't matter. Oikawa was wasting time while someone else was getting better.

"I have to go practice volleyball," Oikawa said, already turning to go. "I'll be back in an hour. Promise."

Mei was fully awake now. She hadn't been home in a while and she began to wonder if Tooru usually did this type of thing. If he did, their parents had never mentioned it to her.

"Tooru, it's really late," Mei negotiated. "How about I take you early to school tomorrow, so you can practice then?"

"No," Oikawa retorted, grabbing the door handle. "I have to train now."

Mei was across the room in seconds and shutting the door just as Oikawa was opening it.

"Stop being childish," Mei argued. "Just go to bed."

"No."

Oikawa tried to open the door again and Mei shoved him away from it.

"This isn't up for debate," Mei said.

Oikawa stumbled back a few steps and hesitated a second. Then, he made a break for the back door. Mei hurried after him, but Oikawa was too quick. He had it opened and had a hand on the doorframe. Lucky for Mei, she was only a step behind and used her body weight to shove the door shut. In the split second before it happened, Oikawa saw that his fingers were in the way of the door. He tried to move them out of the way, but he was too slow. The door slammed onto them and he let out a scream.

Mei quickly pulled him away from the door and sat him on the floor as Oikawa took quick, startled breaths as his fingers began to bruise already.

Mei reached for his hands to better examine them, but, for the second time that night, he ripped away from her. Oikawa slipped away and she watched him disappear around the corner and toward the stairs.

Mei was about to follow, but ran to the freezer first to pull out an ice pack. She swiftly navigated the house until she was outside Oikawa's door. She went to knock, but the door swung open just slightly. She began to hear a voice from the darkness of the room.

"No, no, no, I'm alright. I can keep playing. I'm okay. Nothing's wrong. I can practice. It's fine. Don't touch me please. I'm alright. I can play. Nothing's wrong. I'm okay."

Mei flicked on the lights. Oikawa was next to the bed, holding his knees to his chest as he mumbled sentences over and over again. Sometimes, the sentences would come out as broken words and other times Mei couldn't understand him at all. Tears streamed down his face and Mei crouched down beside him. She noticed her brother trembling heavily and moved to place a hand on his shoulder. When it made contact with just a patch of skin on his neck, Oikawa erupted into screams. Even when her hand was removed, the screaming did not stop. Mei covered her ears and felt the first sob rack through her body. Her brother didn't seem to hear her as she called his name and begged him to listen to hear. She repeated over and over again that everything was fine and that he was safe, but Oikawa was not with her. He was off somewhere else in her head and she sobbed. Mei was helpless with her brother before her.

Mei backed out of the room and sprinted back down the stairs. She picked up the phone and dialed. The operator picked up asking what her emergency was and she began to sob even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you guys liked the story. Suggestions, comments, doesn't matter!


	3. Examination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa has an aggravating time with Dr. Takeda and Dr. Takeda the psychiatrist finds out that Oikawa has some problems.

Oikawa was perched on a ledge by the window. His knees were pulled into chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around them. Below him, the city lights shown up at him and cars noisily passed by him, not taking any notice of him. Oikawa had returned to his normal clothes, save his shirt which still had blotches of blood upon it. Instead, he wore a sweatshirt that the hospital had given him. A dull pain scratched at Oikawa's mind from his right arm where the nurses had put an IV in. But, more of his focus was to the more intense dull pain situated in his fingers that were carefully wrapped. On his other side, a splint was situated against his wrist after one of the doctors had noticed that there was a sharp rift in his arm. Immediately, the doctor had ordered an x-ray and it had been diagnosed as broken. Oikawa would be given a cast later once the swelling could be reduced enough.

Oikawa heard a noise at the door and he thought it to be his parents and his sister who had gone to get breakfast twenty minutes ago. Instead, a man in a lab coat stood at the door holding a file in his hand. Oikawa's face brightened at the sight of the doctor. They had already let Oikawa change. Perhaps, they were finally releasing him, so he could get to school. He had to get to school in order to participate in club activities which means Oikawa should be leaving in half an hour at the latest.

The doctor bowed to him before placing his folder down and taking a seat in a chair generally reserved for guests of the patient, "Hello, Oikawa. I'm Dr. Takeda. I'm a psychiatrist at the hospital. Do you have any ideas why I'm here?"

Oikawa's reply was curt and sharp, "No."

"That's quite alright," Takeda nodded. "I came to ask you about you experienced last night. I already asked your sister, but I want to hear it from you."

"Nothing happened," Oikawa snapped and he uncurled from his position. His hands seized onto the edge of his current seat and began to shoot pain up through his arms, but Oikawa didn't even flinch at the pain. His attention pulled toward this strange doctor. "I got my fingers slammed in a door and I went into shock. That's it."

Dr. Takeda straightened at Oikawa's movements, but quickly relaxed his body position. He settled his elbows on his knees with his head rested on his hands and looked up to Oikawa.

"If you want to get out of here, I need you to answer my questions honestly and calmly. Otherwise, you might never leave."

Oikawa seemed to tense even more at the words, but forced himself to relax. He stole a soothing breath before taking up his staring straight into Dr. Takeda's eyes again.

"Good," Dr. Takeda praised. "Now, when did you start playing baseball, was it?"

"Volleyball," Oikawa corrected angrily. "I've been playing volleyball since I was little."

Tactically, Dr. Takeda had messed up on purpose to see Oikawa's reaction and the response was startling. Intense anger for little reason, Takeda noted. Probably due to his passion- no, obsession- with volleyball.

"And you enjoy it, don't you?"

"Volleyball is my life. I do more than just 'enjoying' it."

Dr. Takeda had a number of theories of what was mentally wrong with Oikawa. Perhaps, volleyball was a way to cope with some type of depression that Oikawa was secretly suffering through. Or, it could be a personality disorder that Oikawa needed to sort through. Another theory is Oikawa has severe anxiety about losing in volleyball or for a similar reason. That could be why he had a mental breakdown. Though, Dr. Takeda was leaning mostly toward an obsessive compulsive disorder.

"How many hours last week did you practice volleyball for?"

Oikawa's reply was not as rapid as previous ones had been. Instead, he concentrated an extra moment before replying. "38 hours."

Dr. Takeda was not taken aback by the answer. He had even expected an insane answer like this. Oikawa's parents had mentioned that Oikawa would often disappear and not turn up until days later, often found somewhere playing volleyball.

"And when did this workout schedule start?"

"A year and six months ago," Oikawa replied quickly and instinctively. "After we lost during nationals because of me."

"Do you have a lot of friends, Oikawa?" Dr. Takeda questioned.

Oikawa hesitated, "Of course. Everyone in our school adores me."

"But, do you have any friends?"

"I have Ushijima, Satori, and Semi."

"Do you hang out with them outside of volleyball at all?"

"Outside of volleyball? There's no time. Every moment I waste not practicing, someone else is getting better and I can't get left behind," By the end of his sentence, Oikawa was shouting and on his feet. Oikawa noticed quickly and took a seat on the bed again.

"No, I don't have any friends."

Intense obsession. Rapid anger. Unfeeling of pain. Poor socialization. Mental breakdowns. Willingness to self-harm. Dr. Takeda now could assume that Oikawa had obsessive compulsive disorder, but based only on one conversation. Besides, another hidden cause may be fueling this disorder. His intense obsession had started only a year and a half ago. Usually, something like this starts much younger, but maybe with something different. Dr. Takeda had scrutinized Oikawa's parents, but they insisted that Oikawa was never like this and that he had changed only a little over a year ago.

Oikawa disappears for days, doesn't listen to authoritative figures based on interactions with his sister and parents, is known to disobey, and has an intense jump to anger. Outpatient may not be Oikawa's best option to reach a full recovery. Inpatient seemed more like it would benefit Oikawa and his condition in the shortest amount of time possible. A week of diagnostics might be beneficial instead of jumping right into treatment. Hopefully, Dr. Takeda was wrong in assuming that Oikawa was as severe as Dr. Takeda believed. Dr. Takeda would recommend it to Oikawa's parents, but it was up to them in what type of treatment Oikawa would receive. Though, previous conversations lead Dr. Takeda to believe that his parents would do anything to get their son back to full health.

"Thank you, Oikawa," Dr. Takeda rose from his seat and collected the file. "You've been very helpful. Just stay right here. I'm going to have a talk with your parents about what we talked about."

"Are you going to let me go home?" Oikawa questioned with a type of menacing demeanor.

Dr. Takeda's brief hesitation was enough to send Oikawa into action. The bedside table was grabbed and thrown across the room, causing the wooden object to crash into pieces. Dr. Takeda distantly heard the shatter of glass as he turned to grab a nurse from the hallway to sedate the rampaging boy. Dr. Takeda returned his attention to Oikawa and tried to talk to Oikawa calmly, but Oikawa was no longer with the real world. He had retreated to a different part of his mind. Still, Dr. Takeda did his best to approach him, but to no avail.

A team of nurses leaped into action as they entered the room. Two of the nurses took hold of Oikawa and pinned him down while another produced a needle. Oikawa broke out into a loud round of tears and began to scream as he desperately tried to free himself. Panic enveloped him as the nurses used their weight to move Oikawa to the floor which caused him to scream even more. Once completely pinned, the syringe broke skin on Oikawa's arm and offered him release from the terrible place in his mind that he seemed to be trapped in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter three hours ago and accidentally deleted the tab, but it's okay because I did it again! I'll try to do one or two more updates over the weekend. Let me know about the story!


	4. Packing for Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and Mei pack for the treatment center.

"Oikawa, I promise, it's just for one week," Mei lugged a suitcase down from the top of Oikawa's closet. "Then, you get to come back and we'll hang out a lot more. We can go to the movies or to that space museum we used to go to a few years ago."

"I don't see why I have to go," Oikawa rolled his eyes and tugged a volleyball from under his bed. He tossed into the air as he laid back onto his bed, ready for it to fall and to toss it right back into the air, but it was intercepted.

Mei's eyes glowed as she grabbed the volleyball in mid-air, but a momentary flashback to last night and her eyes were softened. Oikawa shot up, ready to fight her for the volleyball and to actually have time to practice just a little before he was whipped away to some treatment center for a week.

"You know what they said," Mei said, worried. "They don't want you near a volleyball until they have a proper diagnosis."

"Then, why'd they let me come home?"

"Because Mom requested it before you go. She knows that's what you wanted and she tried to let you stay home, but you need to get better and the doctors say that this is the best way."

Mei turned away from her brother and reached into his closet to produce several shirts. She examined each carefully before either throwing it back into the closet or into the suitcase for Oikawa's journey.

"What do they know?" Oikawa retaliated. "We talked for five minutes and, then he proclaims that I'm crazy. I'm not crazy at all. I'm just passionate and that doctor doesn't understand it at all."

"He spent eight years in college and you've spent zero there," Mei raised her eyebrows. "Who do you think Mom is going to believe?"

"It's just so stupid," Oikawa threw himself flat against the bed until he stared at his ceiling with its glow-in-the-dark stars and planets. "I'm not going."

"You are," Mei grabbed a pair of pants from a drawer and unfolded them. "Do these even fit you anymore?"

"I don't know and it doesn't matter because I'm not going."

"You are."

Mei threw the pants in its own pile and told herself that she would give them away later. In the meantime, Mei returned to the terrible task of packing again. Mei barely knew what to pack and she went off what Oikawa usually wore when he was with her. Hopefully, he'd find something to wear. Oikawa could always call and complain and Mei would bring him new clothes. She guessed the best option at this point, but she continued anyway.

"There's nothing wrong with me," Oikawa said almost automatically as he opened his bedside table to pull out a volleyball magazine that his team had been featured in. Oikawa had even gotten a special interview for the magazine.

Mei ripped the magazine from Oikawa's hands and chucked it across the room.

"Like hell, there isn't something wrong with you. All you ever think about is volleyball. You missed my high school graduation for it, Uncle Ty's funeral, our cousin's wedding, and Mom's 50th birthday for volleyball. It's like you don't even care about any of us. We're your family. We are supposed to be first. Then, school. THEN, volleyball. But, none of it matters to you. You don't even care that you miss everything that goes on around you. You won't have volleyball forever."

Mei noticed Oikawa's fists shaking whether it was from anxiety or rage, Mei couldn't tell, but she felt herself still. Mei desperately tried to settle her own breathing and to calm herself. She couldn't let her brother explode again. Not again. Not ever again. Please, not again.

"I know I won't have volleyball forever. That's why I'm trying to enjoy it now which you don't seem to understand. I don't have a problem. There's nothing wrong with me."

Oikawa towered over her when he rose from the bed and shouted at her. Mei felt so small for the first time next to her brother. His height took on a menacing appearance to her and Mei had to retreat. Yet, still she had felt worse. Much worse.

Mei crouched down as her mind took her back to the events of last night. The tears rose suddenly and there was no stopping them.

"You weren't really there last night. Seeing you like that. I don't think I've ever been so scared. You were screaming and crying. You wouldn't move and you wouldn't respond. It was like you were possessed by something else. I looked into your eyes, Oikawa, and you weren't there. Do you know how scary that was? Seeing your sibling, who you've known almost your entire life, and not seeing them in front of you. Oikawa, you need help. You desperately need it and I don't care if you hate me or Mom and Dad for sending you away, but you need to be fixed. Something's wrong with you. I just want my little brother back. I need him back. Please, give him back."

Oikawa bowed down until he was eye-level with her. He had no idea how to comfort her, but he hugged her and held onto her.

"I'm right here. Don't worry. I'll get better, you'll see and we'll go to that new American restaurant opening down the block. I bet you'll love it. You always love American food."

Mei sniffled as she detached herself from Oikawa's grip and properly hugged him and whispered, "Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading and bookmarking this.
> 
> Also, should I have Akaashi or Kuroo as Oikawa's tour guide for the treatment center? I just can't decide.


	5. A New Place and A New Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa arrives at his bland hellhole for the week.

"Welcome to Miyagi Mental Health Hospital for Teens," a man said as Oikawa and his family exited their van. "I'm Dr. Ukai Keishin, but most of the patients refer to me as Ukai. I'm one of the therapists here and I'm head of the floor that your son will be staying on."

 

"For a week," Oikawa muttered and folded his arms across his chest. Already, this whole thing seemed childish and unnecessary. Volleyball was just a passion; why couldn't anyone understand that?

 

"I'm sorry," Ukai said as he leaned closer to understand Oikawa and Oikawa could easily smell the pungent leftover smoke that had soaked into Ukai's clothes. "You'll have to speak up."

 

Oikawa retreated a step and with fake enthusiasm, said, "I'm excited to be here."

 

Ukai looked skeptical as he nodded and checked his shoulder and then his watch. His eyes swept the entrance of the hospital again. Ukai frowned as he turned back to Oikawa and his family.

 

"Your roommate and tour guide is supposed to be here," Ukai explained. "He can show you around while I talk about the boring stuff with your parents and I hope he can settle you in more to your temporary home."

 

Oikawa raised his eyebrows at the statement, but smiled broadly to please the doctor. This would be the man who would be helping Oikawa get out of her as soon as possible. If Oikawa could convince the doctor to release him, Oikawa could go home and play volleyball again. He was already wasting precious time being here. There was no need to extend the time period.

 

“Well, I guess I’ll just start by going over a typical day here,” Ukai scratched his head and unfolded a piece of paper. “Morning checks are at 7. Then, breakfast at 7:30. Community group is at 8:30. Then, you’ll meet with Dr. Kiyoko, your psychiatrist afterward. You have some free time after before lunch which is at 12:30. Vitals are taken at one. Recreational therapy at two with education group following that. Visitation hour at 4. Dinner at 5. More free time. Closure group at 8 and med time at 9. Then, lights out are at 11. Your roommate will make sure to help you with the schedule. Also, I believe you may check yourself out for short periods of time since you are old enough, but, if you don’t come back, that privilege is taken away. We have sports activities going on throughout the day, but I don’t think Dr. Kiyoko will want you participating. But, we have field trips once a week which you are welcome to come on with permission from parents and doctors. That about sums it up-”

 

All of a sudden, a tall, black-haired man started sprinting toward them and he came to an abrupt halt.

 

Panting from the run, the man spoke, “Hey, sorry, Ukai. Totally forget, but before you get mad, I’m here now. Only a few minutes late.”  
Ukai’s glare persisted due to the man’s tardiness, so the man smiled sheepishly as he began pulling Oikawa away.

 

“We’re gonna get started, so we’ll meet you guys later. Bye Ukai and,” the man checked the writing on his hand. “Oklahoma family.”

 

Rushing a bit faster now, he pulled Oikawa inside the building. It certainly looked like the brochure from the outside, but the inside was much more dull and boring. It looked typical with the white walls and ceilings. A waiting area and a receptionist desk were placed plainly in the walk-in area. The man immediately bounded up to it.

 

“Yo, Yukie, do I have any visitors coming today?” the man asked the receptionist.

 

“Hold on, let me check, Kuroo,” Yukie smiled and typed a bit before shaking her head. “Doesn’t look like Kenma’s coming today. I heard he’s back in school, though, so he might be busy because of homework. I’m sure tomorrow he’ll come.”

 

Kuroo’s face fell before realizing Oikawa was still with him. He instantly brightened up.

 

“Oh,I don’t think I ever introduced myself,” Kuroo put a hand through his hair in sweeping motion to keep it out of his face. “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. I have...wait, what’s the new diagnosis, Yukie?”

 

“Dependent personality disorder and alcohol abuse.”

 

“Yeah, that,” Kuroo nodded, recognizing it. “I have problems dealing with things on my own, so I depend on others for emotional and physical needs. Basicly, I don’t like being left alone. What’s up with you?”

 

Kuroo noticed a hint of hesitation in Oikawa’s response, so he added, “You don’t have to tell me. It’s up to you. The whole patient confidentiality thing.”

 

“I don’t have any problems, actually,” Oikawa said. “I’m here by mistake.”

 

Kuroo immediately laughed at Oikawa, “Oh, denial will keep you here for more than just your temporary stay.”

 

Oikawa’s fists curled as he got closer to Kuroo and pulled him down by his shirt collar, “Listen. I don’t have a problem. Everyone’s just blowing everything out of proportion. I freaked out over my fingers getting hurt, so what?”

 

“It’s cool,” Kuroo unhooked Oikawa’s hand from his shirt. “But, anger and outbursts are going to land you here for months, so I’d tone it down a notch. I’ll warn you that any slip-ups could extend your stay here at the Asylum.”

 

Oikawa backed off. This Kuroo was right. He needed to calm down, but why is he losing control so easily? Oikawa wasn’t like this. He was supposed to be calm and collected who calculated his opponents and their every move. Now, he was brash and stupid. He dug the heels of his hands into eyes, trying to keep himself in his own body. Why was there no control anymore? Maybe, Oikawa did have a problem.

 

No, there was no time to have problems. Oikawa was falling behind. He needed to get better. Or something was going to happen.

 

Wait, what?

 

What was going to happen? His brain tugged at him as if he was trying to recall something, but the memory slipped from him like he was trying to hold water. Oikawa didn’t understand. Why did his mind think something bad was going to happen?

 

Oikawa blocked it out, desperate to keep in the here and now.

 

“Hey, Oklahoma?” Kuroo asked. “You okay? They’re gonna fix whatever’s wrong, so you don’t have to worry about it. Okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Oikawa hurriedly replied. “I just forgot something at home.”

 

“Your parents can stop by during visiting hours or something,” Kuroo supplied. “Do you want to get on with the tour?”

 

Oikawa took a deep breath and nodded.

 

\---------------------------------

 

“That’s the basketball court is,” Kuroo pointed as they walked through the back gardens. “See the red-headed kid. Don’t let him catch you messing with him. He has quite the temper, but the blue-haired kid. He’s pretty chill. I’ll introduce you sometime if you want.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Oikawa nodded, but his head had been hurting since they had started walking. His brain was trying to remember something, but Oikawa couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

 

“Over there, that’s the pool,” Kuroo gestured to a whole in the ground that was encased in weeds and muck that could only pass as a pool because of a sign declaring it so. “Some guys just got permission to fix it up. They say swimming’s therapeutic. I say swimming’s deadly.”

 

A loud beeping started up and Kuroo stopped walking and took hold of Oikawa’s arm. It stopped after three times and a women spoke.

 

“This is a code white,” she announced. “Everyone please return to your assigned rooms.”

 

Kuroo released Oikawa’s arm with a sigh of relief. “Someone’s just missing. It’s okay.”

 

Oikawa wondered why Kuroo had seemed so scared and like he had been ready to take Oikawa and sprint. Oikawa shivered. He had a bad feeling about it, but elected to ignore it.

 

Kuroo guided Oikawa to the stairwell where a bunch of other patients were also ascending. Taking the stairs to at a time, the boys arrived at the third floor and walked a few paces to a room.

 

Kuroo opened it without a key, seeing the locks looked broken on the doors.

 

“Our room shares a bathroom with the neighbors, so we can pass through it into their room while still being technically in our room. I’ll introduce you.”

 

Kuroo opened the bathroom door and kept walking to the door opposite and he knocked a few before revealing their other ‘roommates.’

***********

Sorry for the super late chapter, but I'm back in action with a shitty filler chapter that only serves to introduce it. I wanted to do more with it, but it didn't happen. Anyway, hope you caught my innuendos to some other animes;)

I'll try to get another chapter out soon.

Who should be the other roommates?

-m


	6. Introduction of the Insane Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa finds himself meeting a bipolar Bokuto and a hyper aggressive Akaashi.

"Hey, Bokuto," Kuroo greeted the man laying on the bed. The man looked straight up to the ceiling, studying it intently. "Is it a good day or a bad day?"

The man did not respond, but his expression twitched for a second and molded itself into a heavy frown before returning to a neutral position.

Kuroo nodded at the lack of response and turned to Oikawa to explain.

"This is Bokuto Koutarou. He has bipolar disorder which results in heavy mood swings and what we like to call 'emo mode.' We'll try to talk to him when he's feeling better, but we'll probably have to wait until Akaashi gets back."

In accordance with this statement, the door handle turned and the door swung open as a black-haired man walked in followed by a heavyset nurse who had the patient's arm firmly grasped. The patient looked pissed as he was released and took a seat on his bed.

The nurse pulled out a walkie-talkie and radioed to someone, "Yeah, it's Nekomata. I found Akaashi. He was out the door, but we're back in his room now. What would you like to do with him?"

Nekomata listened to the jargon that replied to him and he nodded as if the person on the other end could hear him. Following whatever had been said, Nekomata pulled out a metal ankle bracelet and knelled at Akaashi's feet. Akaashi looked even more pissed off at seeing the strange object. He flinched away as Nekomata tried to grab his ankle.

"You're not putting a tracking bracelet on me," Akaashi scowled. "This was only the second time. I won't do it again, I promise."

"Akaashi, you and I both know that this is the second time that you've gotten caught. You've done this before."

Akaashi didn't argue, but huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms. Despite this, he held out his ankle for the tracking bracelet and Nekomata snapped it on. Within seconds, the bracelet blinked to life with a bright red light.

"Just for a few weeks, Akaashi," Nekomata patted him on the shoulder. "And, you're going to have to talk to Ukai about leaving the buildings unaccompanied even if you do sign out."

Akaashi looked like he was about to argue, but Nekomata held up a hand and told him, "I know. We'll get this sorted out, so you can have some privileges back, but, for now, you're back on the Red List."

A voice rang over the loudspeakers announcing that the alert was over.

As soon as Nekomata was out the door, Akaashi whipped around to face all of them. His eyes brushed over Kuroo and Oikawa before landing on Bokuto.

"You fucking asshole," Akaashi yelled at him and picked up a book nearby before chucking it near Bokuto's head who whimpered and curled in on himself. "You always mess things up! Why the fuck do you have to mess things up all the time?"

"You said you were going to leave again," Bokuto whispered back.

"And you told Nekomata again?!" Akaashi yelled louder this time.

Oikawa had no idea what to do. Like zero. So, he tried to start to back out of the room, but he knocked into a nightstand. Out of the corner of his eye, Oikawa saw a porcelain owl about to fall to the ground, so, naturally, he dove to catch the owl in a tumbling move. When he stood up, he noticed that the yelling had stopped and everyone had their attention on him. Oikawa raised the owl in victory at them right into the light fixture on the ceiling, causing the delicate owl to shatter into thousands of pieces.

Oikawa's eyes widened and he covered his mouth with a hand as he stared at the mess that he had created. No doubt, Oikawa was in huge trouble. He had been here five minutes and his first impression was shattering one of his roommate's possessions. He was looking like such an asshole right now.

Yet, to his astonishment, Akaashi began to laugh hysterically at Oikawa, even going as far to hunch forward and clutching his stomach. Kuroo immediately joined in and fell onto Akaashi's bed with tears in his eyes. Bokuto perked up and stared back and forth between Akaashi and Oikawa as if he was in awe of Akaashi's reaction. 

The laughter died down enough for Akaashi to ask Oikawa his name before he disappeared to find Nekomata to clean up the mess. Though, Kuroo insisted that he did not need help as he picked up each piece individually, effectively cutting his hand several times. Bokuto watched on in a cross-legged position, telling him that he had missed a piece, despite, there being hundreds of pieces still on the ground.

Oikawa would have helped, but Kuroo kept telling Oikawa that he could handle it. Instead, Kuroo went to take a seat on the desk chair. As he pulled it out, Oikawa noticed a volleyball magazine already resting on the chair.

Volleyball. His one true passion. Yet, he hadn't thought about it for over half an hour. Must have been some kind of record for him. Oikawa stole a look back at the goons in the room and thought that maybe things might turn out okay.


	7. Trip to the Psycho's Therapist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa meets Dr. Kiyoko, the psychologist for the first time and things do not go well.

After saying goodbye to his parents and having a long conversation with his sister, Ukai told Oikawa that he had to meet with the psychologist to have a pre-evaluation to starting treatment and, at the end of the week, another evaluation would take place to figure out how to proceed with treatment. Ukai also mentioned that everything would not be over by the end of the week. That Oikawa would still have to waste time coming to a place for psychos. To be “treated” for a condition that was made up by the doctors to consume his parents’ money.

 

Oikawa had come to this conclusion as he followed behind Kuroo who was trying to make light conversation, but Oikawa had entered defensive mode. Oikawa didn’t want to talk about anything. He didn’t want to be here. And he, sure as hell, didn’t want to be talking to a lady who thought he was crazy.

 

Because Oikawa wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t a freak like the other kids here who had “emo modes” or freaked out if you didn’t constantly reassure them that you didn’t think they were a “waste of space” which Oikawa had to say twice in the past five minutes of talking to Kuroo. This intimidating kid had problems with self-worth. Funny. Probably, bullied kids and said that they were worthless and landed here because he broke down in the principal’s office, confessing his inner feelings. Pathetic.

 

No, Oikawa was the only normal one here. The doctors just wanted to be a big nuisance in Oikawa’s goal of making the national team before the age of twenty and Oikawa was nowhere close at the age of 18. He only had less than two years left. Exactly 1 year 9 months 13 days 2 hours and about thirty minutes to make the team. He hadn’t seen a clock for a while, so Oikawa couldn’t say the minutes or seconds. They had taken his watch.

 

Oikawa was extremely annoyed at the fact. The nurses had gone through his stuff and put everything they deemed “unnecessary” in a little bin with his name on it. They had taken everything except for clothing and toiletries. He had no personal mementos because all of them were seen as “hazardous to his condition.” Even, the picture after Shiratorizawa won the Miyagi prefecture. Oikawa couldn’t tell you what happened after they won, but that moment of winning was amazing. Nothing could compare to that feeling.

 

Of course, losing in Oikawa’s first year brings back bad memories. He had let the team down. He had mistimed a toss to Ushijima during the other team’s match point. Ushijima wouldn’t talk to him for weeks because of how angry he was. Oikawa didn’t like that feeling. Oikawa wanted everyone to look up to him and hold him on a pedestal for his talents. Not give him disappointed looks and angry glares.

 

That’s probably when Oikawa started putting in so much hard work all the time. Oikawa never wanted to feel like that ever again, so he started improving heavily to make sure he never would fail. But, there was the game at nationals last year. And the two tournaments before that. And the training camp failures a few months ago-.

 

“So, this is the room,” Kuroo gestured to a door on the right. “Just knock and Dr. Kiyoko will let you in. I’ll see you at group. I mean, if you want to, we’ll be sitting in the back. They’re usually boring, but we usually just talk in the back. No one really cares. So, I’ll just- see you then. Bye.”

 

By the end of Kuroo’s testament, he was a beat red and turned on his heel to hurry away. Oikawa didn’t really know if he wanted to sit with Kuroo and his friends. They were all probably insane and if you talk to crazy people long enough, you’re bound to end up crazy yourself.

 

Oikawa faced the door and hesitated. He just had to convince this Dr. Kiyoko that he did not have a problem. That it was all a mistake and they should release him as soon as possible.

 

Oikawa tapped on the door softly and glanced down the vacant hallway. Who knew maybe this hospital still believed in electroshock therapy to cure patients? That could be the reason the hallway is so empty. No one to hear your screams. That would really dampen Oikawa’s plans to quickly return to volleyball. Maybe, Oikawa should just leave and no one would notice. That’d be good. Yes-.

 

The door opened to reveal a younger-looking woman with glasses resting on her face. She had a warm glow to her as she slightly smiled at Oikawa.

 

“Come in,” she said in a relaxing tone. “Take a seat on the couch there.”

 

Oikawa obliged and Dr. Kiyoko took a seat in a leather chair across from the couch. There was an obvious lack of electrocution equipment.

 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Kiyoko,” the woman said. “We’re just going to have a conversation and we’ll decide how to help you.”

 

“I don’t need help.” Oikawa resisted rolling his eyes.

 

“Okay,” Dr. Kiyoko nodded her head along as if she were mocking Oikawa. He clenched his fists at her word. Kiyoko must have noticed because her tactics immediately changed. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out. So, you say you don’t? Why is that?”

 

“Because everyone is making things out to be bigger than they are,” Oikawa spit out. “I just want to play volleyball and everyone’s saying that’s a bad thing. And I don’t understand why.”

 

“I don’t think they are saying playing volleyball’s a bad thing,” Kiyoko countered gently. “They just think you play too much.”

 

“How is too much bad, though?” Oikawa shot back.

 

“Oikawa, you’re a well-rounded person,” Kiyoko said. “You just seem to be thinking of yourself as a volleyball player first and a person second.”

 

“No, I don’t,” Oikawa felt his toes curl. This lady wasn’t understanding, either.

 

“Oikawa, can you just answer a few questions?”

 

“Whatever,” Oikawa huffed and folded his arms as he retreated back into the couch.

 

“You were a consistently good student who received high marks in all subjects all the way up until a few months after volleyball season. Do you know why?”

 

“I realized that school was a waste of time when I’m just going to volleyball when I’m older. So, what’s the point?” Oikawa stared fiercely into Kiyoko’s eyes, daring her to disagree.

 

“Okay, but you want to play in college right?”

 

Oikawa gave a curt nod.

 

“And you’ve had several offers?”

 

Another nod.

 

“But, you can’t commit because of your low grades.”

 

“I know, okay?!” Oikawa yelled at this stranger who seemed to be prying at sensitive areas of him. “I stopped caring! I just need to make a professional team or the national team and I won’t have to worry about that! So, you keeping me here?! It’s wasting my time and my potential future! I could be at home! Getting better! But, you’re keeping me here! Every second I sit here listening to you that I have a problem allows someone else to be getting better! And then, I’ll fail because of you and your stupid psychological analysis bullshit that’s just wasting money and time and my dreams.”

 

“Oikawa, sit down.”

 

Oikawa hadn’t realized he had gotten to his feet, but he scrambled back to his seat and stared at his hands. He began to rub his hands together to keep him focused on the simple moment and reality.

 

He did it again. He lost control. It’s over. She won’t let him leave. He’ll be trapped here forever. He’ll never play volleyball again. He won’t be able to toss to his friends or play in a real game anymore. It’s over and Oikawa had lost.

 

Oikawa’s breaths were becoming heavy. He curled his knees to his chest and rubbed his hands furiously together to keep his mind off the thoughts. He could feel himself shaking and he couldn’t stop. Why was he shaking? After feeling so angry, why was Oikawa scared?

 

Then, he felt a hand on his knee and Oikawa’s mind flashed to a memory. He couldn’t quite grasp what was going on during the memory, but the amount of pain Oikawa was feeling during it caused Oikawa to release a startled yell at the contact. The hand immediately retreated and the pain did, too.

 

“Oikawa, I want to know more about your sister,” Kiyoko said. “What’s she like?”

 

Oikawa was taken aback by the question, but he didn’t cease his movements, just looked at Kiyoko now. When he didn’t respond and took his eyes away from her, Kiyoko repeated the question.

 

“She’s nice,” Oikawa whispered.

 

“Why is she nice?” Kiyoko asked.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Can you give me an example of her being nice?” Kiyoko kneeled in front of Oikawa, so she was now in Oikawa’s line of vision.

 

“She bakes cookies every time she comes home. And she always buys me really weird socks for my birthday. She always texts me before I go to bed. She calls me every weekend and she listens to everything I have to say. And she doesn’t yell. She talks really quietly, so you have to listen really carefully to her words. And-”

 

Oikawa stopped himself when he realized he wasn’t shaking anymore. He was back in control again and he stared at Kiyoko in amazement and whispered, ‘Thank you.’

 

Kiyoko nodded. “I want to meet with you again tomorrow and we’ll talk more about your sister, okay?”

 

It was Oikawa’s turn to nod as he got up and walked to the door.

 

“And, Oikawa?” Oikawa stopped with his hand on the handle. “If you ever feel bad, just think about times with your sister, alright?”

 

Oikawa nodded and left the room behind.

 

Something was wrong with him. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.


End file.
